Currently

Mindless intoxicated

hours and miles

beat for beat

two sweaty bodies

aching yearning hearts

become one

The fire in ice

kept your blood

burning hot

but created dreams

far too scary

for one night’s rest

I watched you suffer,

drawing me into

the trickling poison

that became your soul

blinded to truth

revived in lies

I felt me suffer,

hoping to believe

your ghosts were real,

and danced with your demons

until they became mine

adding to my menagerie

Your flight in panic

left me with wonder

swimming in regret

endless questions to plague

a mind already tortured

and heart again broken

© Antonio Beardall

Drunken Phone-call

Vodka gracefully burned

its way through my veins,

my brain glowing

with the ecstasy

of that 80 proof

intoxication

And like a stalker

in the shaded wood,

Regret and Sorrow emerged

to murder that villain

called Glee and Laughter

without remorse

As the glow was snuffed

Sin and Misery

danced in to join

the party that was lit

by bright flashes of memory

long buried

Smiling was abolished

and swept away

by the tears

that cracked through

the wall once built

to cage in Love 

© Antonio Beardall

Esclava

I lose all hope and I hate you

wishing we never met,

cursing you for making me feel

that we had a chance,

I hide in my room, away from the world,

being a slave to the silence;

yet I see myself floating with you

high in the clouds without chains,

and when I look in your eyes

I begin to contemplate, and understand

that from the pain you bring

I will find love

So I surrender to you

finding the quiet peace within,

that comes from a prayer

that fell like stardust

traveling on the torment

that is everlasting hope 

© Antonio Beardall

Failed DNR

Are you lonely in your mind?

You stare, see...

Another world that's all your own,

Just you...

Or are there many demons

who come to dance, with you?

And is it me, who is lonely,

In this world, out here?

Why are you clinging on to life?

Plugged in, drift...

Cold and motionless you lie,

You dream...

Eyes so blank, never blinking

Can you see us cry?

Tired lungs, electric breathing

Do you long to die? 

© Antonio Beardall

Fig

The dancing sunlight

crept to the forest floor

and gave me life to grow

I clung to your proud trunk

and struggled against darkness

to get to the top

My roots sank in

and nourished me

with the love within your veins

Yet your love like poison

tried in vain

to shake off my sweet words

I ignored the Lianas

already hanging on your beauty

and tried to outshine them

But your cold ways

left me no choice

but to strangle you

Now you are but an empty husk

a dead remnant for happy termites

to relish in my murder 

© Antonio Beardall

I See You

Your eyes reflect

a glaze of emptiness

complimenting your face

with its stoic ideology

Those permanent headphones

glued to your ears

help to seal out the world's pollution,

and gives you insight

into the troubles of others

You wander aimlessly

loathing your invisibility

yet basking in your nothingness,

that scream for help

shall never be heard

Then you go home

your lair of private regrets

hiding in your non-existence,

but when you look deeply

in the bathroom mirror

I see you 

© Antonio Beardall

I Wonder What Noah Would Do

Lightning strikes,

the sky ablaze

in daylight through dark-night

as if God himself

was taking one last snapshot

before drowning us in rain,

His can of Raid

His lawn once proudly green,

Japanese gardens, kind fountains

like the once sweetly chatting brooks

that kept us company,

now patches of ugly brown

dead earth, sky scraping weeds

trying in vain to be the tallest mockery

His plan is clean cut

and labelled well for the days ahead,

purifying through fire and smoke

and landscaping the tiny anthills

into oblivion, before washing us all away

and polishing his floors once again

for those fit to walk on it

after removing their shoes

© Antonio Beardall