Tuesday, December 20, 2011


How can I love you
when I know 
that you must someday leave?
My throat already tight,
trying to keep captive
the love that dances inside me
to the rhythm of my heart beat,
a mournful tune
already crying for a love
that has only just begun.

Why should I love you
when I know
that only pain shall come of it?
My eyes that look at you
with desire and compassion
already anticipate 
the tears that threaten
to become a fixture
in my life after you.

© Antonio Beardall

A Game of Words

The golden crown of reverence
Upon an aged head sits,
Casts an empty light of glamour
Beating the ‘strange’ to bits.

Your words amaze the plebs’ delight
And weaklings sing your praise,
Your monarch pen can cast them stars
To keep them full for days.

Your words lack tact but pass as law
And thoughts are hymns and creed,
Within your sight they genuflect
And your commandments heed.

Run the shadows, fleeing bellows
That strange a picture paint,
Not to follow royal decrees
To keep it ever quaint.

Spout your meters, lifeless verses
In lines of two or four,
And shining gems not your color 
Please gladly do ignore.

© Antonio Beardall


Sober... You were sober
empty of regret
and smiling
as we promised for tomorrow
another blissful union

In my dream,
my hallucination,
you were love
and I was the rain
that nourished you

Deep in your eyes
I swam in calm waters,
your words lyrical
your tone the harp strings
that played our song

Absent was sorrow
for only warmth and comfort
could fit in between
our tight embrace.
our eyes entranced

And as the sun rose
so did my eyes open
beholding the emptiness
that is my room
and was my heart

© Antonio Beardall

At A Glance

In my dreams
all I see are glimpses of you
through the parting grass

Your scent carried softly
like a sad memory
to my receptors

I run after you
“Chase me” you call
teasing, laughing, hiding

But I can never run fast enough
held back by weeds
that trap your fading voice

And unto the clearing
I finally see you standing
back turned, face to the sun

Breathless I run to you
and wake up to realize
I have forgotten your face

© Antonio Beardall

Bitter Buffet

I don't want smiles
to brighten my day,
save your joy
but share your misery
in this potluck
of misfortune,
savour my ingratitude
that a new day
brought only wretched sunlight
to do away with soothing night

Spare me metaphors
of wounds healing,
as the dawn rises from dusk
these scars still tingle,
and this severed vein
shall bleed eternally,
with no sweet wish
thick enough
to be my tourniquet

© Antonio Beardall


Why do I yearn
to run again and again
through fields of black wheat?

Aromatic poison wafting
through smiles of decoration,
and lips so hot they breathe fire
upon kisses

Radioactive signs mean nothing,
when chemicals blind
and you walk into danger
under the guise of free will

Still, if Jesus stood upon
blackened mounts with befouled earth,
i would crawl through sludge and over
the brokenhearted to get another parable

© Antonio Beardall

Chinatown Back Alley

They threatened us.

Death spat in my face,
my lover at my side
crying and begging
for another chance

Funny how I can remember
the smell of rotting vegetables
in the dank of midnight steam,
cats fighting,
maybe trying not to become
steak on the menu

Guns in my face
yelling “DEATH TO FAGS,”
not as terrible
as the scuff on my shoe,
embracing Death,
and asking to be carried away

Even the gunshot
did not distract me
from focusing on a cockroach
busy nibbling on rotting cabbage,
and as They ran off
I sank into sadness
as his blood touched me
and left me alive

© Antonio Beardall